So in case you've been living in a fairly comfortable hole in the ground complete with modern technology like running water, electricity and some sort of temperature control device that all just so happens to be located under a rock, I'll tell you and the world that I'm engaged!
If I had the ability to climb a mountain and wasn't afraid that shouting while positioned at the top of a mountain would cause an avalanche or rock-slide that would completely obliterate anything in its path, then I would most definitely shout it from the mountain. Instead I do the next best thing which is ask everyone I see these days, even if they already know my fiance, if they've met my fiance. You might think that that sounds a little bit annoying, but you'd be wrong because I'm awesome and not annoying in the least.
Pushing all that aside being engaged is pretty cool, but to me it sort of epitomizes what life is for children and young adults, a lot of waiting.
It seems that all my life I've been waiting for the next step in life. When I was a baby I was waiting to go to school so I could do normal people things like read and write and make friends. Then during school it seems like I was always waiting for summer vacation. Then I was waiting to go to middle school, then high school, then being able to drive, then college and then finding a career. Even while Meghan and I were dating and lived far apart, I was always waiting for the next time we would get to see each other. Then when we finally lived in the same city, we were waiting to get engaged and now we're waiting to get married.
I think it would be ignorant of me to assume that once this stage of waiting is over, I'll be done with the waiting stage of my life. I'm sure there will be plenty of things to wait for in the next stages of my life and I'm sure those things will make themselves painfully apparent.
This waiting game used to really bother me. My justification for this was that it was taking away from my experiencing the present because if you're always looking forward to the future then there's no time to look elsewhere. But I've since changed my mind simply because this waiting is a form of anticipation for me. It's almost like I'm not willing to just be complacent with where I am, but rather that I always want something different.
To me this is exciting. And obviously there is an area between always waiting for the next step and enjoying the time we have in the moment, and I think I do have a happy medium between the two. This doesn't mean I'm not happy or not content with the life I have now because I am, and things seem to be getting better and brighter everyday and old friendships mature and new friendships are forming.
But I like to look forward to what's next, and I think most of the time is because I don't know what's next. I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life and I don't have to, but I'm pretty sure when I find it I'll know. Just the way it was when I found my fiance. It'll be a perfect fit and it will complement me like it is it's job...see what I did there?
But seriously all this waiting and anticipation is good for me. It means I'm always thinking and planning and that I'm excited about what the future has to bring. I do know one thing the future has to bring and that's me getting married.
The other day at our first counseling session with the one and only Chris Hanchey and his lovely wife Karen, he made each of us write down what we loved about the other person and what aspects of their character or personality or even our relationship made us want to marry the other. I won't bore you with the details of what it is about my future wife that makes me want to marry her, but I will tell you with all certainty and honesty and with absolutely no qualms...
That I can't wait.
