World Cup Commentary:

2010...the year of the world cup. I can't remember when I've had so much anticipation building for one single sporting event. The olympics...eh...don't get me wrong I love the olympics, but I LOVE the world cup. My main problem with the olympics is that it's basically America dominating every year at most every event. The most exciting thing that happened in the olympics recently was when Aquaman's illegitimate son, Michael Phelps, completely dominated and won every swim event ever.

But the world cup is not only much more fascinating, but also is unpredictable. I mean of course you're going to see soccer giants Germany, Spain, France, Italy, Brazil and Portugal in every world cup, and I'll even put the Netherlands on that list because they play in those wooden shoes and have the audacity to wear really orange jerseys, which has nothing to do with their nation's flag, I mean those jerseys are really really orange.

And then there's the good ole USA! Us with our obnoxiously big hats and proud fans with out nuclear bombs and big sticks. We stand firm with our hands on our hearts and watch our team pull itself out of pickle after pickle. It's like watching a soap opera but in soccer form. There's betrayal, love, screwing up, redemption, screwing up some more, and you never know if we'll close the deal or not. And all the while we wear those ugly jerseys and wish the 85% of our country that doesn't watch soccer would...well...watch soccer.

The only problem is I've watched a few MLS soccer games and they are terrible, like high school soccer terrible. No flair, no shining moments, just run-and-kick-soccer that I was bad at in the 7th grade. Ok enough about that...

So back to the world cup...this year we've had upset after upset and seen the underdogs win so much that it it's becoming the thing to do. We've seen a team go on strike...who knew they could do that...I mean if I was a national hero and made tons of whatever-their-currency-is I'd probably complain about unfair conditions as well. Italy probably had the ugliest jerseys ever to be manufactured anywhere, I'd swear they have the mark of a bald forehead on the chest to mark the ultimate shut-the-heck-up in sports history.

Once again FIFA hasn't quite been able to nail down a good system in choosing refs who won't make monumental failures of themselves in the middle of the pitch. I mean besides the American in me dreaming deep-fryingg the ref of the Slovenia and dropping him into the mouth of that thing in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi that eats Bobba Fette in the desert, I have noticed more just plain bad calls than...well...the last world cup.

But I'd have to say besides seeing my mighty Yanks in the finals, which would be a sheer disgrace to the world of soccer after seeing them play for 4 games, I'm not sure I'd have it any other way. I know I already mentioned my love for the mighty van-Dutch, but the fact that both teams are world cup holding virgins just makes everything so much sweeter. At the end of the day, history will be made and one country will see their world cup dreams come true. So the only question I have is where can I buy enough really orange body paint for me and my buddies.