The Greatest Game Ever Played

As promised here is an account of a game my buddy Eric and I invented back in the glory days when we lived down the street from each other. But first here's a little back-story about Eric and my relationship. He and his family moved two houses down from me to live with his grandparents...his dad was stationed at Barksdale. We soon became fast friends and spent pretty much every afternoon and weekend playing together. I was in the 3rd grade, which would put me around 8, and he was in the second grade but was also 8. I was young for my grade. Anyways we played all over the neighborhood and had a hell of a time.

There are many memories that stand out in my mind from those days, the day Eric tried to marry a pair of bumblebees and they ended up chasing him...the day Eric dove into a trashcan to catch a baseball(you can read about that account earlier in my blog)...the day he kicked a basketball into my mother's rear-view mirror...but the particular memory we're looking for is the one about DZ.

Now I have no idea what DZ stood for. We had a play center back in the day called Discovery Zone, which was often abbreviated D.Z., but I don't think it meant discovery zone. Quick question...how awesome were play centers?
Pretty stinking awesome is the answer I was looking for.
Back the the point...I don't even remember how to play DZ. Now I'm going to stop you here because I know what you're thinking. You're thinking Dave, you're pretty awesome but how can you claim the greatest game ever played was a game whose name you don't fully know...and more importantly you couldn't teach me to play for a small fee, unless it's Friday in which case you should probably do it for free.
To which I say you're both right and wrong at the same time.

Yes I am awesome, that has been pretty well established. But you're wrong to assume just because I can't remember the full name of the game or how to play it that it wasn't the greatest game ever invented. I have a theory that had it been properly marketed and word had been given an appropriate amount of time to spread, it would have caught on like Justin Beiber and ousted ever sport in America. I would have been really rich and would have been hooked on cocaine and died of promiscuity...whew! Bullet Dodged!

But I digress...All I can remember of how the game was played was it involved a small little-bit-larger-than-a-softball-sized ball, the driveway of Eric's grandparents and a crack that split said driveway. In reality it was probably some mix of Volleyball and Soccer with maybe a little four-square thrown in...but there's always the chance it was much cooler than all of those things combined. But alas no one will ever know the rules of this mysterious game.

What I do specifically remember however is the genius, get-rick-quick-scheme that corrupted our innocent little creative minds. It sucked up our creative juices like a huge mosquito and used them for its own selfish ambitions. We hurriedly traversed the one yard between our houses, which always turned into a foot race of which I was usually the victor, and rounded ourselves up some poster making supplies. Then we got our business model together and went to work. We decided we needed to share the game with the world, and while we were doing this, why not make a little pocket change? We decided we would charge $5...that's right 5 whole hard earned dollars to teach people how to play DZ and then you would be able to play 1 game for free. I think any other games would cost you a whopping $1 or something. But the kicker is we decided it would be free on Fridays, remember how you were thinking that earlier? Nice! Anyways we would impart our knowledge to people for no charge just because it was friday. Oh the genius! We were little marketing masters. The potential there! Fridays would become Freedays and people would flock to the 200 block of Justin avenue to play the funnest game in the world. We would be the richest 8-year-olds ever!

Unfortunately our brilliant little minds were about to receive a rough tap on the shoulder from Mr. Real World...that douche. We hung our poster up on a tree in my front yard, I think the poster was obnoxious orange which was sure to attract all sorts of attention. All this happened on a Thursday. Our thought process...get a few players today...make a little money and let them tell their friends and colleagues about the fun they had and we would be swamped Friday with eager learners and potential DZers. Then next week would hit and let the money making begin! The main thing we didn't foresee was that no one would drive down the street in the 20 minutes our attention spans could afford to spend on waiting for customers. So we got bored and tried to play DZ on my driveway but it wasn't as fun for some reason. So instead we played at his grandparent's driveway again and kept a vigil watch out for any potential players.

None came and it eventually got dark. I'm sure we ate dinner and played video games or something the rest of the night while silently dreaming of the hoards of people we would have tomorrow. Unfortunately upon waking up the next day neither one of us could really remember how to play DZ. Like I said earlier...government agents must have come in our rooms and zapped our brains MIB style. I didn't say that earlier? Oh well that's what must have happened. So there you have it...I have played the greatest game ever invented...forgotten how to play it...and had my mind zapped from special government agents, which probably means Will Smith has been in my bedroom.

So if anyone is free this Friday let's try and get a game of DZ going.
I know I'm free and fortunately so is DZ.